COLUMN: Arbitrary ruminations

Harry Caines contributes a weekly column to His column is a work of opinion, and does not reflect the views of Cache Valley Daily, the Cache Valley Media Group, or its employees.

<em>“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”</em>

— Abraham Lincoln

So much is going on that Your Humble Columnist must use his weekly space to write about them all. And since my editor does not like me using the term “random thoughts”…well, you will figure it out.

— Two events are being held on February 12th in Logan that conflict with each other. And these events, which I both wish to attend, are not targeted to the same focus groups.

In the south end of town, the Lincoln Day dinner will be held in a hotel ballroom. In the middle of town, the bi-monthly Gallery Walk will be held.

I use this column on many occasions to espouse the virtues of frequenting local businesses, promoting local musicians and encouraging Cache Valley residents to support local artists. The Gallery Walk is one such event that needs to be endorsed, promoted and bountifully attended.

It is fun to dress up a bit and walk through the center of Logan. My friends and I go to every art gallery and feel that surge of artistic haughtiness that can be lacking at times whilst living in northern Utah.

Yet, it must be said that the people who attend the Gallery Walk do seem to be, more than not, of a politically liberal persuasion. This will not be the case with the Lincoln Day dinner.

This event is an annual gathering of Utah Republicans. At the Logan soiree, Senator Orrin Hatch will be the keynote speaker. Senator Mike Lee is also scheduled to be in attendance.

I would eschew attending the Gallery Walk in favor of the Lincoln Day dinner if one improbability came to pass. I would want to see Senator Hatch grab the mic, walk over to Mike Lee in his chair and castigate Lee for being an embarrassment to the state of Utah and to the Republican party.

Then I would want Hatch to turn to the audience and challenge anyone in the room to run against Lee–who is up for re-election in 2016—for the Republican nomination. Hatch would then pull out from his coat pocket a check for $10 Million that he will hand to the first person in the room who will announce their candidacy on the spot.

To finish, Hatch drops the mic on the floor and walks out of the ballroom with a cocky gait usually reserved for Super Bowl winning quarterbacks.

I would spend much money to see that happen.

— Fearless Super Bowl prediction:

The Carolina Panthers win by at least 20 points. They are just flat out better than the Denver Broncos.

— Staying in the arena of sports, I did not attend the so-called “black out” game held by the USU Aggies men’s basketball game against UNLV last week.

I loathe when teams wear black uniforms when black is not their primary color. As an Aggie, I am proud of blue as our color. Black uniforms are just a way for the shoe companies—in Utah State’s case, Nike—to make money.

I am a traditionalist when it comes to sports. Your team’s colors are supposed to connect you to the past. Wearing black shirts so as to sell black shirts to the easily persuaded ruins traditions. And the Aggies got whupped by UNLV. So it did not change our fortunes to any degree.

How ever has the Alabama Crimson Tide been able to win four college football championships in eight years wearing their boring red and white uniforms? Doesn’t Tide head coach Nick Saban know without black uniforms that the best recruits will pick Oregon or UCLA over playing in Tuscaloosa?

USU should wear blue with white or gray as the neutral color. Winning big games sells shirts and lands top recruits. Try that.

— Over the past month I have seen the film “The Revenant” twice. I highly recommend that my dozens of readers go see this film on the big screen.

Unquestionably, it is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. It is also one of the most brutal films I have ever watched. Without giving away a main plot twist of the film, those in Logan will have a new appreciation for the declarative statement “Go Grizz!” after seeing this movie.

The acting, led by Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy, is amazing. And, staring at the scenery of what is supposed to be the Frontier of the 1820’s, I felt a true appreciation and respect for those pioneers who ventured westward to make a life for themselves two centuries ago.

This is a great film that should be seen in a theatre. Go, and you can thank me later.

— When I moved to Utah in 2004, attending the Sundance Film Festival was on my “to do” list. I have not been there once and I do not wish to go anymore.

The only stories coming out of Sundance are of one major entertaining giant making a billion dollar deal with another corporate Death Star. The films shown at Sundance have become incidental. And a regular movie fan schlub like me would be hard-pressed to get into most of screenings or parties.

— Not many people respond to my columns on the various outlets in which it is presented. I am fine with that. I rarely solicit feedback. But I am now.

Either in a comment section, or in a rebuttal column, I respectfully ask anyone who is supporting Hillary Clinton for president to answer one question for me.


The following answers are not acceptable:

“Republicans suck.”

“She is a woman.”

“We must stop Donald Trump.”

I want to hear any other answer but the above stated. I do not have Facebook, but I will be informed if that is where the retort is posted.

Or, if any of you feel comfortable writing in prose, please submit a pro-Hillary column of 900 words or less to If it is cogent, they will print it.

I really want to know why anyone is supporting Hillary Clinton outside of a seething disdain for Republicans. I just don’t see it.

—Finally, I was looking at some of the songs that were popular 25 years ago this week. Just in the genre of rock Warrant, Poison, Winger and Cinderella were on the charts. Guns N’ Roses landmark albums ‘Use Your Illusion I and II” would be released in 1991.

1991 would also see Pearl Jam release “Ten”. Soundgarden gave us “Badmotorfinger”. REM dominated MTV with “Out of Time”. Red Hot Chili Peppers went mainstream with ‘Blood Sugar Sex Magik”. And, Nirvana changed the face of music forever with “Nevermind”.

1991 would see the high-haired glam rock bands yield to the more serious, flannel-shirted grunge scene. It was a earth-shaking revolution in music. And it was 25 years ago.

I feel old.

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