COLUMN: Utah – the voice of reason

Harry Caines contributes a weekly column to Harry is a resident of Logan and an alumnus of Utah State University. He can be reached via email at His column is a work of opinion, and does not reflect the views of Cache Valley Daily, the Cache Valley Media Group, or its employees. 

<em>“Song of my soul, my voice is dead;</em>

<em>Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed,</em>

<em>Shall dry and die in Lost Carcosa.”</em>

—From “The King In Yellow”, by Robert W. Chambers

If Nostradamus and The Book of Revelation gave birth to demonic twins destined to swallow the whole of humanity into their flagitious mouths, they would be named Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

With Trump and Clinton as the prospective nominees for the two major political parties in the U.S., this country has officially lost its collective mind. By propping these twin towers of terror up as the only viable contenders for the most powerful office on this planet, Americans are voluntarily hurling themselves into an abyss at a speed comparable to Maverick and Goose buzzing the tower—and, with the same lack of foresight as to what will be the consequences of their actions.

I just do not understand it. The explanations that have been offered to me provide no logic, no substance and no solace. How can my country fall so deep into a morass of puerile tribalism? When did the mentality of “Us vs. Them” become so enslaving that the Uses and the Thems both might choose modern-day Lovecraftian Great Old Ones to wreak havoc onto each other? And will America suffer the same fate as the mythical Carcosa?

All literary hyperbole aside, how did we get here?

As I am prone to do in this space, I can readily castigate and scathingly rebuke social networking. When we have a society that is conditioned to only read headlines of stories, and then can easily leave an incendiary insult in the comment section…or lob a condemning Tweet…then we have cultivated a fertile ground for incivility and irrationality.

How many of you who utilize Facebook, Twitter, et al, have used those avenues to spew venom at people for taking a political position you disagree with? Did you offer a layered opposing view, or did you just call them a disparaging name? You see, chances are you are a part of the problem.

It is acceptable to occasionally insult people for their lack of political breadth so long as you propose an antithesis argument. Social networking offers little chance to truly get into such intellectual dialectics. ‘Tis easier to just call someone a moron and hit the send button. Pass the nachos.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are poised to be the next president. Trump is a megalomaniac who is so immersed into his own cult of personality that when he voices two wildly different opinions on the same subject within minutes of each other, he genuinely believes both stances. And Hillary Clinton is a woman who has made paranoia and the pursuit of power a strange cocktail that is, for her, an omnipotent aphrodisiac.

And this is the choice Americans offer to each other and the world. As weeks go by, the voters of each state throughout this vast land continuously choose Hillary and the Combover. They ignore Hillary’s lifelong resume of corruption and opportunistic ideological progressions (regressions?) whilst simultaneously giving Trump a pass for his pathological lying and mental instability.

Week by week, state by state, we allow these two hideously awful people to get closer to the presidency. Can no one stop this? Are there no heroes left who can stand up to these monstrous characters? Wait! There is hope! There is a place where Clinton and Trump are rejected! There is one enclave of civility and integrity left that refuses to give into the ignorance and anger of this once great nation. There is one flicker of light left in the void.


Utah, the state that makes bartenders pour drinks behind a partition so that little Kyler and Hayli are not disturbed while eating their 2,000 calories plate of chili fries.

Utah, a state that thinks the use of medicinal marijuana emboldens drug addiction, yet ignores that too many women who live here are zombified from Xanax.

Utah, the state were elected officials suggest condoning gay marriage is the path to beastiality.

Utah, the state I have raised my kids in for the past 12 years only to hear them tell me they are gone, gone, gone the same day they graduate from Utah State University.

Utah is now the voice of reason in America. They earned that title Tuesday night.

For it was on Tuesday that Utahns went to caucus nights and proclaimed with dual, yet strangely unified voices that Trump and Clinton were not their preferred cup of tea…or Mountain Dew.

As I sat in a dangerously overcrowded room waiting for my outrageously unorganized meeting with my fellow Republicans in Logan to commence, my adult children were shuttled off to Smithfield where the Democrats converged.

Why did the Cache Dems send out an email stating Logan residents should go to Smithfield instead of Logan HS? It reminded me of that <a href=”” target=”_blank”>scene in “Animal House”</a> when Flounder and Pinto were forced into the corner of the Omega house to sit with Mohammet, Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton.

Afterwards, I spent the remainder of the night with my older son flipping between CNN and Fox News waiting for the results. We were both on the Internet reading various reports from Utah precincts. We were both happy with what we read. Trump and Clinton were being widely rejected by Utahns.

Utah, for one day, I was proud that you are the place I reside. Maybe this result was brought on by Ted Cruz’s uber-conservatism. And certainly a state filled with retail workers who can show up to work on any given day to find they no longer have a job or health insurance would take comfort in the message Bernie Sanders delivers.

I wanted to see more than that in Tuesday’s results. I wanted to see Utah as the place where level-minded individuals saw the grotesque journey the rest of the country is taking this election and politely asks everyone to take a breath and reconsider.

If that is the case, then Utah is indeed the voice of reason. And that statement alone should tell you how far this country has fallen.

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