COLUMN: War Machine Baby Strollers and Odubel Herrera

Harry Caines contributes a weekly column to CacheValleyDaily.com. Harry is a resident of Logan and an alumnus of Utah State University. He can be reached via email at hacaines@gmail.com. His column is a work of opinion, and does not reflect the views of Cache Valley Daily, the Cache Valley Media Group, or its employees. 

<em>“Well, it seems like I’ve been playing your game way too long.</em>

<em>And it seems the game I’ve played has made you strong.</em>

<em>But when the game is over, I won’t walk out the loser.</em>

<em>And I know that I will walk out of here again.</em>

<em>And I know, someday I’ll walk out of here again.”</em>

—from the song “Trapped”, by Bruce Springsteen.

Many random thoughts on my mind. As such, my offering this week is a hodgepodge of the various things ruminating in my vast, maniacal mind.

— When I was a kid there was a baby pigeon outside my bedroom window alone. My father told me not to touch it. He said that if I touched the bird that the mother would not care for it. I always remember that.

Fast forward to this week. In Yellowstone National Park, a tourist placed a baby bison in his SUV because…and I am citing news sources on this…he thought the bison was cold. Sure enough, the herd refused to accept the calf back and it had to be euthanized.

The stupidity of most people still astounds me.

This may be an isolated incident of a single person being ignorant of simple rules. It may turn out this guy did it on purpose and was unaware that his actions would turn into a big story. It matters little what the motive was. What matters is there are some things that should be obvious. When you are in the wild, leave the wildlife alone!

This is why I am fanatical about punishing people who talk in movie theaters. That sociopathic behavior is the gateway to manhandling wildlife. It emboldens stupid humans who lack common sense to commit more foolish acts later in life.

And this guy who inadvertently killed this baby bison was not some redneck Trump supporter. (REDUNDANCY ALERT!) He is Canadian. Maybe this was revenge for <a target=”_blank” href=”http://www.cachevalleydaily.com/opinion/article_e9eec842-3bf9-11e5-8d5a-af0e21d1a914.html”>Hitchbot</a>.

— Scribing this on the morning on May 18th, my beloved Philadelphia Phillies stand just a half game out of first place. Shock the world! Life is just better when your baseball team is winning.

Will it last? Let’s find out.

The key to the Phillies’ success has been great pitching and the fearsome lead-off prowess of Odubel (It is pronounced oh-DOO-bull) Herrera. What a great Latin name! I looked up its meaning. In Utah, Odubel can be loosely translated to mean Kyler, Jaxton or Kaysom.

— One of the major political party candidates for the office of President of the United States likes to call up reporters pretending to be his own public relations spokesman so that he can praise himself.

Millions of Americans want this lunatic to have executive powers that can start wars and kill people.

Digest that.

— The Cache Valley Gardener’s Market is in full swing. Back for a second year at the Old Historic Courthouse in downtown Logan, it is one of my favorite indulgences here.

They have widened the area of the tents creating more room for attendees to stand around and socialize. I heard this was a major complaint about the location last year.

I do not think the area in use is the problem. I believe what made for cramped quarters were people who bring baby strollers that are as big as a Ford Expedition to the Market and steer the things past the tents as if they were in a Mad Max film.

A trend I see now is wagons. People bring large wagons with their kids being pulled around.

It is a wonderful thing to expose young children to the positive vibes and friendly atmosphere that is embodied at events like you get at a downtown market. What irks me is that most of these parents are completely oblivious to the intrusion of space these pseudo-siege towers create for the people occupying the same space.

We share this planet. Stop cramping me with a fleet of strollers that Vladimir Putin can use to effectively invade Ukraine.

— One part of my column last week reflecting on the <a target=”_blank” href=”http://www.cachevalleydaily.com/opinion/article_53275294-1795-11e6-a845-2fee206bd1c4.html”>Summer of ‘86</a> that I had to omit due to length was that two of the films I saw during that amazing time were on the same day. I saw “Back to School” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” back to back. It rained hard that day, so a double feature seemed like a good idea.

What I remember about seeing those two films on the same day was that both featured legendary character actress Edie McClurg playing a secretary, and both saw its lead character singing a version of the song “Twist and Shout.”

It is odd what inane details we remember from our youth.

— Finally, the second of my three children will be done with high school by the time this column goes to print. My older son will join his sister as a student at Utah State University this August.

My older boy is a tall kid with broad shoulders and a shaggy mane of hair. His thoughtful disposition belies his physical appearance. He is a great brother to his siblings. He is what can adequately be called a “gentle giant.”

My boy has become quite politically astute in the past year. Many times we have talked about this bizarre political campaign that dominates the news daily. If my daughter has parroted my scathing cynicism, then my older son has exuded his father’s pragmatism when it comes to politics. He is considering being a political science major in college. I think he would do well in that field.

Many days, he and I can be found walking to and from downtown Logan just to talk and have lunch together. It is those small things, like taking walks in the middle of the afternoon, that I consider to be the best of times with my kids.

He’s a good son. I am proud of him.

Two down, one to go.

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