Grandma got a new Dodge Dart. She chose it from the lot. We crowded round that brand new car to see what she had bought.
The color was an Irish green, her favorite, we knew well. We couldn’t help but notice how it had that new car smell.
That Dart had everything you’d need. Its price you couldn’t beat. It even had two sturdy belts to keep you in your seat.
Though Grandma wasn’t sold on being tied behind the wheel, she said she’d take a chance with it and see how she would feel.
Grandma moved the seat ahead as far as it would go. She stretched to reach the pedal, then could touch it with a toe.
Well, Grandma drove right down Main Street then home on Merkle’s Lane. If only she had known that car was going to yank her chain.
Grandma liked to go to town on Wednesdays, right at lunch. She always wore her favorite dress to meet the senior bunch.
She’d promised that she’d buckle up each time she drove to town. We knew she loved her grandkids and wouldn’t let us down.
But one day when she clicked that belt, the buckle caught her dress. It tore the cloth from stem to stern and left her in a mess.
She really wasn’t in the mood to let that seat belt win. That buckle ruined her favorite dress. A war would now begin.
She changed her dress. Made up her mind. There really was no doubt. She took a ten-inch butcher knife and cut those damn belts out.
She grabbed those two belts by the neck and threw them o’er the fence. Grandma’s scary frame of mind was growing more intense.
A neighbor guy was gawking as this whole event took place. But, when my grandma glared at him, he turned and ran post-haste.
Well, Grandma jumped into her car and down the road she flew. She met up with the senior bunch. Her day was far from through.
And when she told them all about the seat belts and her dress, they burst out laughing. All agreed: that story’s for the press.
So if you click your seat belt, and the buckle feels too tight. You better take a look at it. Some say that seat belts bite!